Regatta

A few weeks ago, we had our first regatta. We hauled boats down to the City and raced in the river there. We did alright for where we were at in our training, so I have no complaints. I am also proud of how we did because as we raced, we got to observe about five boats overturning in the water. It was most amusing, and set the bar pleasantly low for us, so we weren't so scared of Coach. The mishaps that happened weren't actually on our boat, but they were pretty funny.

At the end of the first races, we all gathered back at the boat trailer to review what had happened and what was coming up. It was then that we heard about the men's double that went out.

First of all, you need to understand that captaining one of these boats is not easy. If you're a Coxswain, then at least you are sitting at the back of the boat, looking in the direction that the boat is going, and not rowing. Your only job is to command the boat. When you're captaining, however, you are expected to row (which means following the person in front of you, balancing the boat, and also dying from physical exertion) as well as direct the boat. This means calling for hard pieces, yelling at your crew to keep rowing, and keeping a course. Now, I may be making lists of things to make this seem like a big deal, but don't let that distract you from the fact that this is a big deal. Anyway, the men's double. Dvorzsak. Yep. That was the boat. I'm not saying Dvorzsak is the root of all evil, I'm just saying that Dvorzsak and happiness have never been seen in the same room together.

To be fair to the men, they hadn't done a lot of training together in the double. That, coupled with the fact that that river had a current when ours does not, was more than enough to throw our rowers off, I think. I didn't see them race, but I gather they had some issues.

The first big mishap happened as they were rowing the first half of the race. The course was set up so that we rowed downstream to the bridge, which was the starting point, then upstream again, past the docks, turn around, and race back downstream to the bridge again. There were buoys down the middle of this course so that the boats didn't get in any head-on collisions.

As the double was speeding upstream past the docks, Captain tried to hear what Coach was saying. How could Coach know that his voice, however well he projected, could not be heard over the growl of the slides, the clunking of the oarlocks, and the pounding of exertion in his rower's ears?

The double could not hear Coach say, “Hard port! ... Hard star!! ... DO ANYTHING! JUST TURN THE BOAT!”

The shouting did them no good, and the men's double sent Dvorzsak hurtling into one of the buoys. It hit dead on.

Impact was made with such force, that I hear tell the captain was knocked clean off his seat. At this point, I believe Coach's description of akimbo oars looking like “spiders on coke” began to apply, as they struggled to stay afloat with the captain so very out of sorts.

Struggle as they might, they were not claimed by the watery depths that day. They conquered. But they will probably be more careful with their shoulder checking in the future.