Greener Grass

Thinly Horse saw Fatted Steer,

Through the slatted fence one year,

Said he to Steer, “Now listen here,

I have a question for your ear.”

Steer, the ever-cordial fellow,

Turned to Horse, so calm and mellow;

Horse began to rant and rave,

A quite self-righteous equine knave.

“Why is it that my kind all plough,

And bear the Man, and herd the Cow,

And you, Fat Steer, are all at ease,

Eating all the food you please?

I'd trade you any, any day,

And you could work for a scrap of hay!”

The Steer blinked calmly and replied,

With not an ounce of sass or snide.

“Perhaps you'd like to eat like me,

And from work you would be free,

But don't presume to want my fate,

For I shall serve Man on a plate.”

“No,” said chastised, humbled Horse,

“I would not like to be main course.”

Loyal Dog walked on the scene,

And to participate was keen.

Horse did not need prompting twice;

Was on Dog's case in but a trice.

“Listen now, Dog, listen here,

I was just telling Fatted Steer,

That Horses serve man with pulled plough,

And saddled back, and herded Cow.

Now you are here, so I must ask,

Do Dogs have any sort of task?

I know you're given lots of credit;

Rubbed and crooned and scratched and petted,

But all, I'm sure, you ever do,

Is bring Man sticks to play with you.

I'd trade you any, any day,

And you could work without the pay!”

Dog had no time to reply,

When Steer let out a doleful cry,

“Can you imagine how I feel,

When I must end up as a meal?

I'd also trade you any day,

And you could fatten as I play!”

Here, the dog spoke up at last,

Said “Hearken here,” and “Not so fast!”

Quite insulted was his pride,

This Border Collie, bona fide.

“I think you fail to see the score,

I work, Thinly Horse, and plenty more;

I herd the cattle – I do too,

But that's not half of what I do!

I must learn Man's language, see?

You're wrong if you think that's a breeze!

I'm with him every night and day,

While you get rest when he's away.

Yes, I play and fetch him sticks;

Oblige him with my friendly licks,

I must work and also be his friend,

His Farm and Heart are mine to tend.”

Quoth Steer and Horse, “Yes, I suppose,

That your life, too, has cons and pros.”

But all the three, Dog, Steer, and Horse,

Thought others had it best, of course.

They'd little time in which to brood,

When in walked Cat, with his attitude.

That weisenheiming feline fiend,

Had listened in, then intervened.

“My friends, please share what's going on,

I hate to be excluded,

Though your rhyme scheme drives me rather mad,

And I think I shall not use it.”

They turned and glared at catty Cat,

And Dog and Steer and Horse all spat,

“You must use the rhyme scheme, too,

Or we'll have nought to say to you!”

“Oh very well,” conformed the puss,

“I really don't get all the fuss.”

“No!” They all took up in cry,

“Rhyme to ear, don't rhyme to eye!”

“Ah, now I see! I'll play my part.”

Of course, he'd seen right from the start,

But Cat, he loves to incommode,

So always travels by this road.

“We were just saying,” said the Horse,

Quite calmly, though the calm was forced,

“The three of us each lend a hand

In different ways to serve the Man.

“I must pull the heavy plough,

And carry Man, and herd the cow,

Dog does work and is Man's friend,

And Steer is eaten in the end.”

Pausing here, his Horse ears pinned,

As the Cat looked on and fairly grinned,

It dawned on Horse whose lot was best,

And he continued, quite incensed.

“You know what's just occurred to me?

That we work hard, Steer, Dog, we three!

And this Cat with all his pulchritude,

Works not a bit to earn his food!”

Loyal Dog and Fatted Steer,

Joined in Horse's building jeer,

Towards that saucy Cat, now aimed,

Who grinned until their tempers flamed.

He waited 'till the indignation,

Tired out the congregation,

Then leaped atop the slatted fence,

And let them wait for his defense.

He gave it to them by and by,

Expression smug and oh so wry.

You see, Cat really is a jerk,

His primrose path to rile and irk.

So he began with tongue so sharp,

Whiskers excited as strings on a harp,

Tail as a-twitch as a cracking whip;

Voice-purr mocking and slow through his lip.

“Ah! You have arrived at last,

Your wit is truly none too fast.

Oh, the envy betwixt you three;

You ought only, really, to envy me!”

To Fatted Steer did Cat turn his face,

Walking his way at a jaunty pace,

Sat above Steer and without more delay,

Began in his devilish, mocking way.

“I'm fed till I'm full, just as you, Fatted Steer,

But I shall live on, far past the year,

Man would not think to partake of my meat;

I'm afraid it will always be you that they eat.”

He left Fatted Steer to dread at this sting,

Turning on Dog for the next verse to fling.

Cat as a coward, one could surely impeach,

But he was quite doughty when out of Dog's reach.

“You think you are best friend to Man, Loyal Dog?

Then why does he always give you scold and flog?

Though I never put work towards Man in a day,

They never treat me in this cold, cruel way.”

Dog knew that Cat used his lies as an art,

But false as they were, they cut to his heart.

To his final victim, Cat turned very slow,

And sharpened his tongue for this last, final blow.

“You know, I don't think that Men notice you much,

You work like a slave and are thought of as such.

Man never urges more effort from me,

From rides, pulls, and kicks, I'll always be free.”

Thinly Horse may not seem quite a genuine soul,

But Cat's cruel words took their designed toll.

Horse only ever, with pride, raved and ranted,

For fear that, by Man, he was taken for granted.

The damage of words had been done to them all,

Steer, Dog, and Horse looked ready to fall,

But Cat had disgruntled them more than he knew;

Their anger burst forth, having had time to stew.

Steer was the first one to gather his wits.

A snort ruptured forth from his four-stomached pits,

He loped to the fence where Cat was a-perch,

And said, as he rammed with a cumbersome lurch,

“I may not live long, but I shan't envy you;

You and your ways, I shall not just eschew,

I, and my kind, shall seek you to ram,

And you shall be subject to fear, as I am!”

The Dog was inspired by Steer's worthy spat,

And joined him at fence to threaten the Cat.

He stood up against it as high as he could,

Growling at Cat 'till he shook the fence wood.

“I may not be spoiled, but I shan't envy you;

You and your ways, I'll also eschew;

Moreover, I'll promise of me and my kind,

Always to chase you, to hunt and to find.”

Horse then came galloping up to the fence,

Eager to add his malicious two cents,

He, with head highest of all of the three,

Gave a great screech to shake Cat of esprit.

“I may not be praised, but I shan't envy you;

You and your ways, I, too, will eschew;

What's more, I will plague you as Man has done me,

Drive, ride, and kick 'till you never feel free.”

But Cat, he continued to dodge and to shirk,

Not feeling he wanted the duty of work.

However, he could not have all days of ease,

Since the day that those three he'd decided to tease.

That last fateful day that the Cat wandered free,

The three had their say, and then left him to be,

But still, these three creatures, Man's faithful few,

Did as they'd promised the Cat that they'd do.

Steer whips his muzzle underneath Cat,

And tosses that fiend in the air like a hat,

While he flips and turns, and fearfully reels,

Steer hopes he will taste of the fear that he feels.

Dog tries to catch him, to tear in his jaw,

To sink into him the teeth of his maw,

The heart of the Cat he is trying to bore,

As the Cat did to him when he cut to his core.

Horse tries to kick Cat, as Man does to chide,

And step on his back to bear Horse for a ride.

And chases him as he is chased from the plough,

And tries to control him, as Horse does the Cow.

Despite any discord molded that day,

Each of the three still serves Man in his way;

Each does his duty as a creature of Earth,

And is happy to do so, fulfilling his worth.